Fear, The Great Immobilizer

Having only very recently been introduced to the wondrous ways of yoga, I am still a novice, as pink as can be. However, though my time experimenting with postures has been short, my appreciation for the practice and its boundless benefits is nigh immeasurable (for its immensity). I finished today's session with an extended shoulder stand, and was awe-stricken at how consistently my physical ability exceeded my mental boundaries. Repeatedly, I found myself certain that I could go no further, only to accidentally bend MUCH deeper than I had previously anticipated. Luckily, I didn't snap my neck, rather I was taught (taut? hoho) a beautiful lesson about fear and holding back. Self-restraint undeniably has a place, and can often diffuse potentially volatile situations, but it becomes a problem if it leads to comfort within ones presumed boundaries (either physical or emotional) and a complete cessation of self-challenge; existential immobility, as it were.

These little thoughts ultimately led to a contemplation of fear in general and its antithesis, which I believe to be love. These days, there is little doubt that the body and mind are inextricably intertwined. It's interesting, then, to observe and feel the effects of both fear and love in a comprehensive sense. When one is moved by love, they are just that: moved, as though by some enlivening energy. Emboldened and courageous, they leap forth into the actions which love naturally begets. However, when governed by fear, one is more often than not hesitant and withdrawn. Bitterly embracing anonymity, their potential remains ever dormant. No action is taken, despite a festering desire for activity.

Fear and Love. Like many other words, we toss them around so casually that the emotional depth for which they once stood is either severely diminished or forgotten entirely. "I LOVED that movie." "Be afraid. Be VERY afraid!" Though this pop-culture marginalization of meaning is linguistically common and ought not to be mourned but with a hint of romantic nostalgia, there is still great worth in remembering what things once meant; in recognizing that language is not only a way to communicate, but a way to make manifest the tempests and quiets of the emotional realm. I'm AFRAID i've strayed way off course, and forgotten what i'd originally been pondering.

OKAY! So fear and love are words. Being words, they exist as signs to make sense of life, both internally and externally. "That's a tree over there!" "I feel extremely happy!" However, that thing over there is not a "tree". That soaring surge of lovely energy isn't "happiness." Both existed well before they were named. Indeed it was their very existence that necessitated naming. So, I invite you to consider what lies beneath the linguistic veneer, to explore the essence which lies behind the words "fear" and "love." What is this thing that would keep someone from doing what they want to do, this nullifying force? What is this thing that makes people entirely unafraid and beautiful and giddy, this energizing force?

It seems I've lost my focus, and butchered my intended thesis. Oh woe and lamentation! But perhaps this is the very nature of unbridled inquisitiveness! Well, regardless of whatever I may have set out to write, I just want to encourage the zero people who read this to live in mobility, to actively participate in the movement of life. You will soon find yourself dancing to the transcendent score of the Great Conductor. Perhaps it's a lively jig, perhaps a beautiful waltz. There are plenty of crescendos and decrescendos. Don't be crestfallen if you feel stuck, for all is dynamic, ebbing and flowing. Where there is paralysis and stagnation now, there may very well be unimaginable movement and growth later. The life of Spring becomes the golden gaity of Summer's sepia, which matures into Autumn's beautifully ornamented deathbed, a death that is completed in Winter. And then rebirth. Even in the passage of a single day is the cycle illustrated! So don't lose patience when it seems like you're going nowhere, for it may just be a long Winter, a seemingly endless night. But even in such times, try your best to move a bit. Or at the very least, read "Oh, The Places You'll Go" for some Seussian wisdom. And remember, the most seemingly futile effort may just be the very step which leads you into another, brighter, chapter of your life. Okay.

So it's only just occurring to me that I shouldn't have chosen Love and Fear, but Life and Death. However, I think they're in many ways interchangeable, for a "life" of fear seldom feels like living at all, and a life of love feels vibrant "alive." Fear, immobility, death. They're all on the same side of the spectrum. Love, movement, life. They're on the other side. I'm always so curious about the forces which support each side, whether for life or for death. Perhaps someday i'll find out. Until then, I'll be satisfied with a lordoftheringsian understanding of things. Okayiluvyoubyebye.

P.S. In many ways, life is unfathomably complex. So much still lies shrouded in mystery, and it's always a cardinal error to reduce things to polarized simplicities. This was not my intention, lest I be tossed into a group with that obnoxious teacher from Donnie Darko. However, many things are entirely overcomplicated. There is a certain depth of beauty and truth in simplicity that often causes me to wonder whether overcomplication might not just be a cheap attempt at replicating that wholesome depth, hence the frequency with which pompous verbosity is confused for wisdom. A vain, lifeless mockery of life. Like a factory when compared to a garden. But here I go again...

P.P.S. Oh yeah. The whole point was this: Don't let fear's temptations toward passivity thwart the realization of your true self! Everybody simply wants freedom; to be themselves, unabashed and unafraid, loosed of the bonds of shoulds and oughts. Be yourself and love being yourself! Then you'll be a big cup o' love, filled to the brim and indeed spilling wherever you go, whoever you meet. And it's so pleasant when a random cup of love spills all over you, soaking your clothes that had been so stifling while walking through the desert. Take off your mind clothes and run naked through the sprinkler of love. Ohmygoshnowisoundcrazy. Farewell.